My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
Randomize
