Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
my liver is dry heaving
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