the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
He wanted to watch a Charlie Brown thanksgiving. But I was like, fuck that, I'm a grown up. So we watched jumanji and I sucked his dick.
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