is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
Randomize
