im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
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