they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
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