its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
did i just see you in the movie theater carrying a margarita into Frozen?
All the 6 year olds are jealous of my alcohol
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
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