I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
You are a genius and a whore.
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
Randomize
