If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
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