I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
You brought string cheese to the strip club
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
My dad just said "fuck circus"
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
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