You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
Randomize
