why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
Randomize
