wat bout pragnant strippers??
He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
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