Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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