Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
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