i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
Randomize
