I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
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