My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
this boner is exhausting
Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
Randomize
