I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
Who did Billy Mays play for?
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
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