yo i have your phone
... oh so you probably won't get this message
BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
Every fourth of July I get sentimental when I think back to the one where we drove around baked off our asses crashing multiple cookouts listening to Team America's "America, Fuck Yea" on repeat. I miss us.
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
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