Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
Randomize
