ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
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