id be glad to
I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
I left you a really long drunk voicemail and I remember something about a bat
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
Randomize
