We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
I stole a fireplace last night.
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
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