You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
somehow in between the body shots the bong hits and trying to convince the 7-11 lady to let me fill up my vodka bottle with cherry slurpee. i misplaced my car.
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
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