I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
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