Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize
