i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
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