I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
Houston, we have a squirter
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
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