So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
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