it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
She told me I should be a condom model.
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
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