Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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