one might say we're banned from that church
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
Why do guys insist on chatting me up this early in the morning? I'm just like "Dude, I look like the bastard child of Einstein and a troll doll. Let me eat my Hot Pocket in peace."
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
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