Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
Randomize
