God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
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