I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
This is not a drunk text right now. This is an i want your dick text. There is a difference.
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
Randomize
