I'm drive I can fine osifer
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
My Uber driver last night was driving a taxi and tried to charge me fare.
You didn't get in your Uber because your ex was driving, that was a legitimate taxi.
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
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