He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
I asked a girl to buy her a drink, she had I have a boyfriend, so I said, well i have a goldfish, she said what? I replied, oh I'm sorry I thought we were talking about shit that doesnt matter.
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
Randomize
