my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
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