she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
Me too!
I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
my sisters under your porch take her home
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
I woke up under a house in Key West
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