you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
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