If i come over, it means nothing
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
My cleaning lady broke my bubbler. It's awkward between us now.
Why?
Because she knows I do drugs and I know she's a clumsy bitch.
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
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