Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
Randomize
