i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
textsfromlastnight.com keeps rejecting me
that alone proves you never get laid, nor have a life.. or have anything funny to contribute to the world.
My mom just got knocked over by a rollerblader. I'm trying not to laugh, bc my family looks pretty concerned
he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
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