I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
Randomize
