like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
