Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
Randomize
