so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
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