I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
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