I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
My day in three words: secret purse cake
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
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